there's something about nights that makes you feel a lil tipsy, and a lil sad. it's like the darkness actually literally fills your heart with darkness? it is weird, and just, scary. i am not the only one feeling like this. the day makes our heart happy, and distracted from things that makes us upset, somehow. and when night falls, damn our mind gets flooded with strings on unwanted memories, and especially lying on the bed before i fall asleep. what is this? everyone feels that way.. sigh.
anyway, i slept really late yesterday at 4.30am. i planned to sleep at 2am after the bbm chat with suanzee but after that, the boy bbmed me to ask if im asleep.. and then a conversation sparked off. we talked about nonsense, and then some stupid topic came up we were telling each other how much we love each other but we changed all the sweet words to negative words. like how love = hate. haha it was really really hilarious. but we laughed. alot. and this, was the first time he stayed up and not feel sleepy when having a bbm chat with me? hahaaha it was really amazing.. i love him. for who he is and who i am when im with him. i love him. and it ended of with a phonecall of his laughter..
dear boy, you should know how much i love you, and how much i would want to be here with you forever.. i hope this time it would last. i just dont wanna go through any breakage, and heartaches, and the whole "moving on" plan. really. i just want you, and last forever. i love you boy. we might not be the best couple, might not do what normal couple do, might not have both of our fb status to "in a r/s" because of issues.. but i am happy with what we just have now. love, friendship. everything.. please don't disappoint me. love. x
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